When I was given my first major assignment as Virtual Assistant in a BPO company, I was determined to make good at it.
My week started well. I was able to successfully complete my first task on Monday. On Tuesday, October 16, 2013, I was supposed to submit my second task. A strong earthquake shook our neighboring provinces. We were only affected by intensity 5 but it damaged the undersea fiber optics cables of our internet service provider. I tried so many times to connect in order to submit my output. In the evening, I tried once more and was happy to see my email open. I read the important emails only since I wanted to submit my output. I composed my email and attached the files. I was careful not to make any error in the title, the addressee, etc. But when I hit the send button, the internet stuck. I retried so many times but it was adamant. Finally, I gave up that night. My mind was bothered because I just read the email from the client who was looking forward to see my output.
That night, I was bothered even in my sleep. A myriad of incoherent dreams appeared but the one message that stuck to me was something that said “Do not be afraid”.
I was afraid to fail in this assignment. I was afraid to lose the job. I was afraid of the future.
In the morning of Wednesday, I woke up early and prepared to go to attend the noon mass at the Sto. Nino Church. But before leaving the house that morning, I was determined to submit my work. One day delay is tolerable I thought. My sis opened the computer and said internet was still down. Barely an hour before my schedule to leave the house, I tried to open my email. To my delight, it opened and I was able to read the first email. So I prepared to compose my message and submit my work. To my horror, the electricity went off. Another day of delay, I thought.
I left the house bothered. I sent a mobile text message to my supervisor but there was no response. I went to church and barely heard what was said. After the mass, I went to the ‘Adoremus’, a small quiet room for prayer beside the church where the Holy Eucharist is exposed and adored. There was a cubicle for bible reading and I went inside. I opened the bible at random and read it. Nothing. I read on and randomly opened another section of the bible. It was Matthews 6. This one struck me. This was the scripture passage:
You Cannot Serve God and Riches
24 “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.
Do Not Worry
25 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
As I was reading these passages, several thoughts rushed through my mind. Maybe there is a purpose why I am not able to excel in this assignment? Maybe this job is not for me and there is something better for me? Maybe I am meant for a different division. So what if I lose this job, surely there are other opportunities?
I suddenly felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulder. God knows my worries. He knows what I need. I am so engrossed in trying to impress my client and my superiors and lacked trust in my God who knows what’s best for me. I left the Adoremus peaceful and grateful of heart.
A few hours later, I received a text message from my supervisior who said it is alright, that I can submit my work when internet and power are back.
We are so busy trying to maneuver the direction of events or outcomes of our actions. We want to be in control of our circumstances instead of letting God be in control. We end up so stressed with life.
Let us pray:
Heavenly father, we are so anxious about so many things in life but lack focus on the most important thing in this world which is life itself and our relationship with you. Help us to trust you when we do not understand the events that are taking place. Help us to have faith in your providence and find peace in your presence. Help us to be still and know that you are God.